Life Like an Elastic String

My life, it was like an elastic string; it could oscillate, but at some point, that oscillation had to stop.
But I didn't resent life for that. Because this life didn't grant me the right to do so, for I was a special agent, no, to be precise, I was an assassin. I was trained to be a killing machine, to do things the government couldn't publicly acknowledge.
My life was dull like that until I was twelve. That was when I first saw her, the person who resembled me in every detail, every hair and fiber – she was my older sister, Mai Hui Ling.
At that time, I was so happy to know I still had such a beautiful, intelligent sister. But her personality was nothing like mine; she was lively, always smiling, while my personality was the complete opposite. I was honed from a very young age; years at the base had made my personality cold, I didn't like to smile.
Then years passed, and both of us gradually matured, but at the same time, she left me. Because of my impulsiveness, she had to bear the consequences for me. She was captured by American cops, tortured. By the time I arrived, she was but a shadow of her former self.
At that moment, I cried a lot. I blamed myself for implicating her. But even in her last moments, she still smiled. She looked at me with love, her dark eyes sparkling as they met my blue ones, looking at the only difference between us. She looked at me so gently, so tenderly. She said she didn't blame me, she said she loved me very much, she said she missed Mother dearly, and that she would go ahead to find Mother.
As for me, I cried profusely. I held her so tightly, as if afraid that if I let go, she would disappear. Seeing me cry, she told me again that I was her pride, so I shouldn't cry, it would break her heart.
I knew, I knew I was her pride, but I didn't want her to die, I didn't want to see the people I loved leave me. But what had to come, came. Mai Hui Ling, my sister, truly left me. She was gone, gone very peacefully.
I was almost numb, holding her lifeless body. I just held her and cried, cried until I couldn't bear it anymore, and I fainted. But in my mind, her gentle voice still echoed.
"Wu Lan Yu, repay their debts for me. Love Huang Hai Lang for me..."
Because of that promise, I returned to the place called my homeland, the place that had abandoned me, the place where I first cried, and the place I never wanted to return to...
But now, standing under this sky, I am no longer Wu Lan Yu; I am Mai Hui Ling.
I returned to the Mai Family, but had no intention of going inside. I just stood there, looking at the tall gate, my heart trembling. The Mai Family, this place had shattered my entire family.
Not long after, I met him again. The one who had made me wait so long, the one Mai Hui Ling would never forget, Huang Hai Lang.
At that moment, I almost went mad. I wanted to punch his face, wanted to curse him, but I couldn't. Because now I am Mai Hui Ling.
Time passed like that. I followed him for two years, loved him, cleared all obstacles around him for his sake. But in return, he only looked at me coldly. He sneered, calling me a bastard, the daughter of a vixen.
Hearing that, I only smiled then, and turned to walk away. I left not because I was angry with him, but because I was afraid he would see my true self. I didn't want him to despise me again.
But then she appeared. She was beautiful, gentle like a lovely rose, blowing a new breeze into his cold heart. He gradually melted for her; he loved her very much, loved her so much that he defied his own parents.
As for me, I could only watch them be happy. I could only follow behind their backs, watching them laugh and smile together.
My once burning heart grew cold, my personality became more emotional, more easily moved. I cried more. My personality was no longer indifferent.
When I let go for them to be happy, an accident happened. A fire blinded her, and their child almost died.
At that time, he came before me. He said he was afraid of me, he was disgusted by me. He called me vicious, he told me why didn't I just get out of his life.
Hearing those cold words from his mouth, my body trembled in waves. I looked at him, my blue eyes revealed, startling him, but at that moment I only said: I'm wearing contacts.
I didn't tell him the truth that I was Wu Lan Yu, because I didn't want to hold onto him anymore. I was tired. I let go.
A few days later, I registered to donate my eyes to Mai Xiang Wei, despite Wu Dan Feng's objections. I refused to listen to him. I knew he was very angry; he said I didn't owe them anything. I was the innocent one. But Wu Dan Feng, you didn't know I still owed someone.
I owed Mai Hui Ling a promise to love Huang Hai Lang for her. Wu Lan Yu owed Huang Hai Lang a promise to make him happy.
After donating my eyes, I returned to France with him, but this time, my soul felt strangely at peace.
I was no longer as indifferent as before; I liked to smile more, and I was especially interested in growing flowers. Especially roses, a proud, splendid flower that, despite its thorns, people still loved.
I also didn't feel uncomfortable not being able to distinguish day from night, because I felt I had seen enough in these twenty years.
In that year, I lived very comfortably, very happily with him by my side. He walked with me along the beaches of Hawaii during brilliant sunsets, he watched the Japanese cherry blossoms with me. He loved me as he did in childhood, gradually making my soul forget the past. He helped me hide the deep affection I held for Huang Hai Lang all those years.
But this return to France was no longer like a year ago; this return meant never leaving again.
I could no longer feel the vibrant purple of the lavender season. I had once wanted to give up this life, but when life was about to slip from my grasp, I felt regret. I didn't want to leave the warmth of this world.
To the point of death, I felt very anxious. I lay in Huang Hai Lang's arms, but I wasn't worried about him, because I knew he no longer needed my worry. He had Mai Xiang Wei, he had a happy family.
The person I worried about most was you, Wu Dan Feng. I worried you wouldn't be able to bear this shock. You had suffered so much already; I didn't want you to suffer any more, I didn't want you to live the rest of your life in loneliness. But I knew there was nothing more I could do, I couldn't make the person I loved happy anymore. I was afraid to face you, afraid of your reproaches, afraid of your tears, and for that reason, even in the last moments of my life, I didn't want to say a word to you. I didn't want you to be a second Wu Lan Yu, sacrificing your entire life...
...just for a final word...