Outrageous Novel Endings

【Florida does not tolerate idlers.
A man in Fozhou, in broad daylight, was distributing various yellow flyers at the police station entrance.
This blatant and audacious act quickly led to his arrest by the police.
The chief, upon learning the truth, flew into a thunderous rage.
Because the female protagonist on the flyer was none other than his beloved wife.
The chief personally stepped forward, leading his subordinates to make arrests.
The moment he pushed open the door of that club, the chief unexpectedly saw his own deputy chief on the bed with his wife, "researching human creation plans," with two other officers taking notes nearby.
Immediately, the chief was so angry his nose was crooked and his head was fuming. He waved his hand and arrested everyone.
Finally, his subordinates received a $300 reward.】

*Cough, cough, ha ha* ——
Initially, the Ancestors didn't quite understand what "flyer" or "female protagonist" meant. But the Ancestors were not foolish; once those crucial words appeared later, they naturally understood the meaning. As soon as they understood, they all burst into ridiculous laughter, and very loudly at that. A dignified court official, secretly, was a prostitute, and even had her business patronized by her own colleagues... *Cough, cough*, anyone who's been through it understands.

【A man in Fozhou, after breaking up with his girlfriend, was still furious. He personally spent $600 to buy an old car, and registered it under his ex-girlfriend's name. Then he found the most expensive parking lot and parked the car there. It stayed there for over ten years, accumulating 678 parking tickets. The court, seeing an opportunity to make money, immediately sent a summons directly to the man's ex-girlfriend.】

Everyone: *Pfft, cough, cough, cough, cough*, this move is too vicious! Truly inhumane!

【A tattoo artist in Fozhou discovered his girlfriend was cheating, but instead of confronting her, he told her: "I'm going to give you the coolest tattoo." And it was for her entire back. The girlfriend had no suspicions. The old man didn't use anesthetic and immediately got to work, comforting his girlfriend to endure the pain. After it was done, the girlfriend happily looked in the mirror, only to see a pile of yellow excrement tattooed on her back, with several flies buzzing around it.】

Everyone: They could visualize the scene and were now curious if the girlfriend fainted from shock or chased the man with a knife.

【A man in Fozhou, sleeping in his house in the middle of the night, felt an intense pain in his head. After going to the hospital, he discovered it was a gunshot wound. Police investigation later revealed that the perpetrator was none other than the man's wife. After the man fell asleep, she directly picked up a gun and shot him once in the head. The man not only didn't die but stood up and said: "Oh, damn it, my dear wife, my head hurts like hell!"】

The Ancestors were shocked at this point. What kind of wife was this? To actually shoot her own husband. Most importantly, with such a large gun, if it truly hit him directly in the head, shouldn't his entire head have a bloody hole? And he didn't even die like this? Was he even human?!

【A man in Fozhou went to the police station to report that a large quantity of his goods had gone missing. Finally, the Federal Bureau of Investigation investigated and was surprised to discover that the man's so-called large quantity of goods was actually drugs. The man was immediately thrown into prison.】

Although everyone didn't know what "drugs" were, judging by the name, they knew it wasn't anything good. If such a thing went missing, shouldn't one quietly use their underground connections to search for it? Why would one openly and honorably go to the government yamen to report it? Even if they didn't originally intend to arrest you, you're delivering yourself to their doorstep; it would be too polite for them not to accept.

【Watching these outrageous novel endings.】

The Ancestors laughed uncontrollably, and by this point, they struggled to support their bodies. They had no other intention than to proudly declare that if there was anything else that could make them laugh, they were ready for it.

【Chapter XX: Grand Finale. The protagonist falls on the road and dies.】
【Chapter XX: Grand Finale. He sneered, turned around, let out a fart, and was suffocated to death by his own fart (joking).】

Liu Che: Suffocated to death by his own fart?! He was greatly shaken, never thinking that there could be someone in the world who died from their own fart. And that one who fell on the road and died, that's also very strange, but not entirely impossible. That person, that person, he remembered that death was apparently like that.

【The protagonist said unwillingly: "Who hired you to approach me?" The assassin sneered: "The author hired me. He said he didn't want to update, and my payment was to immediately become the protagonist of another novel." "So it was the author who sent you." The protagonist nodded slightly. "Farewell!" The assassin brought his hand down. The protagonist, good, lived to be fifteen years old.】

For some reason, the Ancestors found it a bit comical.

"Cough, cough, cough ——" Emperor Wen of Sui, Yang Jian, struggled immensely to hide his laughter with coughs. To maintain the dignity of the Son of Heaven, it was truly not easy for him.

【"Why am I so handsome!" *Thud!* A corpse fell. The protagonist! He's dead. He! Died from his own handsomeness.】

"What?!" In unison, the Ancestors of various dynasties were all a little dumbfounded. They had heard of people drowning in sewers, seen people kicked to death by horses, and even watched people chased to death by dogs from running. But this was the first time they had heard of someone dying from their own handsomeness.

"This way of dying is quite novel, isn't it!" said a dry, old village ancestor, dressed like a farmer. Behind him, a group of village ancestors, like chicks pecking at grain, nodded in continuous agreement.

【The author wrote to this point, finding it impossible to write out the image in his mind. So he used the Qiankun Da Na Yi, transferring his own 20 years of cerebral artery blockage to the novel's protagonist. Afterwards, the protagonist suffered a brain attack and died on the spot.】
【In just one short year, she grew from an A to a B. She looked in the mirror, slowly suffocating in her own beauty. She actually died from her own beauty.】

Everyone: Here we go, another unlucky person. The previous one died from his own handsomeness, this one died from her own beauty; they truly became a neat pair going on their way together. But what are A and B? Does this have anything to do with beauty? The Ancestors shook their heads, indicating they didn't understand what these two letters meant.