Awakening

I let go of his hand, frowning slightly. "I can't walk anymore. Can you carry me back to the room?"

He stared at me intently with his deep eyes. After a moment, he lifted me up, took gentle steps, and placed me on the bed.

I brushed my long hair back, lying down contentedly.

He didn't stay to sleep but went out to the living room.

I asked him where he was going.

He replied, "To take a shower."

I gave an "Oh." While waiting for him to return, I had the urge to tease him a little.

I looked around the bedroom and finally hid in the deepest part of the wardrobe. Ten minutes later, I heard his footsteps coming from the bathroom.

He entered the bedroom.

The room was dead silent. I held my breath, hearing only his steady breathing. Through the crack in the wardrobe door, I could imagine him standing outside in the dark, his lonely silhouette stretching across the floor.

Suddenly, I felt a bit of regret.

I pushed the wardrobe door open and stepped out, meeting his gaze right on. He was looking at me. Facing his dark, gloomy eyes, I felt a bit guilty and instinctively touched my nose.

He slowly walked over to me.

"I just wanted to tease you..." Feeling the invisible pressure radiating from him, I lowered my head even further.

"Ye Fengzhi," he called my name, his voice laced with helplessness and fear. "This isn't a funny joke!"

I started to argue stubbornly, "I didn't run away. Besides, it came from a good place... Well, anyway, I didn't mean to tease you!"

"Shut up."

I immediately shut my mouth, obediently covering it with my hands.

He crouched down, his intense gaze making my scalp tingle.

The next moment, he gently pulled my hands away, covered my eyes with his hand, and kissed me.

Flustered, I tightly gripped his collar. With my vision obscured, everything around me faded into a blur, and all my senses were surrendered to him.

He held me so tightly. Clearly, he was the one who held my life and death in his hands, but at this moment, I felt he was so fragile—so fragile that I almost thought I was his savior.

But only I knew that wasn't the case.

In the darkness, he was my support, my safe harbor.

He gently carried me back to the bed, asking me over and over if I would run away, if I could please not leave him.

I softly replied, "I won't."

"I gave you the chance to run, but you didn't take it."

"Yes."

"Do you not care about my identity?"

"What if I care, and what if I don't?"

He was guilty, but his love was not.

I gently kissed his closed eyes.

He had done countless bad things, deeds that the world deemed detestable. But until this moment, as we held each other for warmth, I suddenly realized I didn't hate him at all, nor did I care who he was anymore.

I had fallen in love with a demon, a demon who had committed heinous crimes.

***

In my daze, I heard him ask, "Do you think I'm very evil, burdened with countless sins?"

I closed my eyes and mumbled, "Yes, killing is wrong. Humans always look for something to sustain their lives. There are many ways to prove your existence, but not like this."

He looked at me silently. "Do you want me to turn myself in?"

I said nothing. Aside from the overwhelming sleepiness washing over me, I didn't know what to say, nor did I know from what standpoint I should answer this question.

He sighed and pulled me into his arms.

In my dream, I seemed to hear him say something, not very clearly, but I vaguely remembered...

"I'm sorry."

***

Waking up the next day, I rolled over and reached out beside me, but the warmth was already gone, completely empty.

I immediately opened my eyes and sat up, searching the house, but he was nowhere to be found. A new phone sat on the table.

I turned it on; my old SIM card was already inside. As soon as it booted up, a flood of news notifications popped up on the screen. Looking at the empty room, a terrifying thought flashed through my mind.

My finger slid across the screen, clicking on a news article. A series of headlines appeared:

【XXX News: Recently, a homicide occurred in a residential area in City A. The victim was a fifty-year-old male. The culprit fled after committing the crime and hid in the residential area. In July of Year X, half a month after the incident, the culprit turned himself in at the police station and was arrested.】

Time seemed to stand still. I stood there for a long time, silent for so long that the tears on my face had dried. Finally, I picked up the piece of paper on the table. The words on it were scribbled but written with great force:

"You are the proof of my existence!"

The moment I clearly saw those words, I could no longer cry.

***

"There are many ways to prove your existence, but not like this!"

"You are the proof of my existence!"

Everyone wanted me to go to hell, but only you declared me innocent.

It was I who harmed him.

It was I who forced him to turn himself in.

My throat choked up, and my entire body collapsed weakly, as if I had lost my purpose in life, instantly becoming lost.

I looked out the floor-to-ceiling window; it was raining outside.

I didn't know if he was dressed warmly enough, or if his wounds were infected.

I curled up, burying my head in my arms, my eyes tightly shut.

I would rather sleep forever than wake up.

***

"Smack!" I suddenly opened my eyes. The first thing that caught my sight was a pristine white ceiling.

A bump had formed on my head, but I didn't care. I just stared quietly at the white wall, feeling my heart pounding violently, sweat pasting my bangs to my forehead.

Gasping for breath, I moved my hands slightly, touching the soft bed beneath me.

Wasn't I... just in the living room? How did I get into bed?

What was going on?

A vibration sounded beside me. It took me a few seconds to react and pick up the phone.

Caller: Mom.

I pressed answer and brought the phone to my ear, trying to keep my voice normal. "Hello, Mom?"

The other end seemed very anxious. "Fengzhi, why didn't you answer your phone yesterday?"

Yesterday?

I froze, still unable to process it.

"I went out with friends yesterday and didn't notice."

"Alright then. Fengzhi, I'll be back in a few days. Pack your things; we are moving to He Yuting."

I subconsciously asked, "Why are we moving there?"

"Why? The house in He Yuting is bigger, and it's closer to your university!" Mom paused, her voice softening. "Besides, your father and I divorced not long ago. In a few days, Uncle Li and I will return together. We will live together from now on!"

"You know your Uncle Li. When the time comes, remember to address him properly. Don't embarrass me!"

Already in a bad mood, this call only irritated me further. I gave a few perfunctory replies and quickly hung up.

I slowly sat up and looked around. Nothing had changed.

I looked toward the bedroom door.

The door wasn't broken at all.

Could it be that early in the morning...

Cold sweat began to pour. My fingertips dug tightly into my palms, the sharp pain bringing me back to reality.

I didn't dare think any further.

I looked at my phone. It was still my old one, and the screen wasn't shattered.

The date was still half a month ago.

There was no news about that murder case either.

I suddenly ran out of the room. My long hair blocked my vision, causing me to trip over a chair. My knee scraped open and bled, the stinging pain seemingly drowning out everything else.

The apartment hadn't changed at all.

There were no deafening police sirens outside, and the rows of instant noodles were still intact. This scene was completely different from that other half-month; this was my actual home.

So, was it all just a dream?

I let out a hysterical laugh. The wound on my knee throbbed again, and warm tears streamed down my cheeks. I knew I looked pathetic right now.

I tried hard to recall everything from the dream. He was still in my mind.

But I couldn't remember.

His appearance, his voice, everything we had been through together became blurry—so blurry that I didn't know how to remember him.

Only those light jade-blue eyes were deeply etched in my mind.

In the dream, I had kissed those eyes.

But I was still afraid—afraid that time would wash him away.

In my dream, he had no name, no background. He was entirely a figment of my imagination.

From beginning to end, I had directed and acted in my own one-man show.

He didn't exist at all.

My support, my safe harbor, was gone.

Why do humans forget what happens in dreams so easily? Is it because they are afraid and don't want to return to this harsh reality?

I wiped my tears, sat down at my desk, grabbed a notebook at random, and wrote down everything we had experienced together.

I wanted to use the fleeting memories I had left to remember him through my words.

That dream was too long, as if a whole lifetime had passed—so long that I didn't want to wake up.

***

After that day, I searched everywhere online.

I asked many questions, such as "Falling in love with someone in a dream," "How to return to a dream," and "Why can't I remember what happened in my dreams."

I searched everywhere, only hoping to continue that dream.

Not long ago, whether those methods worked or because I was thinking too much, an indistinct, blurry figure appeared in my dream. I didn't even need to guess to know it was him.

I tried to run toward him, but just as I reached out to touch him, I woke up.

Like heaven and earth, we could never touch.

After that, I never dreamed of him again, no matter how hard I tried.

From the moment I woke up from that dream, I knew I had lost him forever.

I loved him, even if he was just an illusion.