"Do I Lack Brothers?"

Outside, the light rain drizzled. He must have walked a distance in the rain; his black hair was slightly damp, clinging with tiny water droplets. When he lowered his gaze to look at others, his eyes seemed cold, exactly like the Ying Huai Xie Qi Zhi first met at 12 years old.

Xie Qi Zhi was a little dazed, looking at Ying Huai: "Why are you here?"

Ying Huai pressed his hand on the door, water vapor from his fingertips sticking to the matte black surface of the door. He pulled the door wide open but had no intention of stepping inside, standing outside and asking, "Are your things packed?"

"Packed what?" Xie Qi Zhi was flustered, "Does Sister Lin want me to give you something?"

"Not her, I mean you." Ying Huai frowned slightly, "Are your things packed? If not, go pack them now, I'll wait for you."

Xie Qi Zhi blinked, a very strange feeling rising in his heart. He asked him, "Why do I have to pack my things?"

Ying Huai's eyebrows suddenly furrowed deeply, his long eyelashes lowered. Looking at Xie Qi Zhi's confused expression, he seemed to realize something, and a small ripple passed through his dark eyes: "Don't you want to come home with me?"

Behind them, the Tai Chi teaching program on TV, which had been playing, switched to a noisy commercial.

But those sounds didn't register.

Xie Qi Zhi wondered if he had misheard. Did Ying Huai mean he wanted him to come along?

"What are you talking about?" he asked, "Didn't you say yourself that you weren't free to take care of me, so you left me at Sister Lin's place?"

He had clearly accepted this, deciding not to bother Ying Huai anymore, yet he appeared here in the evening, as if he couldn't wait another moment to take him home. Did he really care about him that much?

Ying Huai's voice was a little low, sounding displeased, but his expression was still unchanged, only denying: "I never said that."

Xie Qi Zhi looked at him and asked, "Should I call my brother and Sister Lin now to confront you?"

Ying Huai met Xie Qi Zhi's clear grey-blue eyes, silently looking at each other for a few seconds, then shifted his gaze away.

He was one hundred ninety-two centimeters tall. Such a tall man blocking his doorway, one hand still holding the door open, preventing it from closing. If it were anyone else, this would surely be a very dangerous situation.

However, Xie Qi Zhi, despite being angry, didn't feel much defensiveness. He even found Ying Huai's silent expression a little amusing, like a big dog that had done something wrong and dared not look at others.

"That was over a month ago," Ying Huai finally spoke, offering a somewhat unconvincing defense, "I didn't say that before I left."

Xie Qi Zhi looked up at him, thinking to himself, now it's even more similar.

"So what?" Xie Qi Zhi temporarily believed him but didn't change his mind, saying indifferently, "I don't want to go back anymore."

Ying Huai stared at him: "Why?"

Xie Qi Zhi replied, "No reason, I just don't want to."

"At Lin Jian Shan's place, it's further to both the hospital and school. During rush hour, it's also prone to traffic jams."

"That's not a big problem." Xie Qi Zhi took a step out, grabbed the doorknob, wanting to close the door to make Ying Huai leave, "Sister Lin is very good to me, and so is Brother Jiang. I'm doing very well here, why do I have to keep moving back and forth?"

Ying Huai suddenly let go of the door. Xie Qi Zhi lost his balance, pulled by the doorknob, and stumbled into the person opposite him. Ying Huai's jacket was still damp with rain, and as Xie Qi Zhi got close, he smelled a cold, rainy scent on him.

Ying Huai supported Xie Qi Zhi's back, preventing him from falling, lowered his eyes, looked directly at his face, and asked, "She's very good to you, so am I not good to you?"

Xie Qi Zhi pursed his lips tightly, not answering.

If he disregarded the fact that Ying Huai had denied him and wanted to send him away, Ying Huai actually cared a lot about him, fulfilling the responsibilities of a temporary guardian, even knowing how to cheer him up better than Sister Lin and Brother Jiang.

He made Xie Qi Zhi occasionally very sad, but most of the time, he was still very happy.

But why was that?

He didn't like him, and his feelings for his brother were just a misunderstanding. So what was the reason he chased him here? What was the reason he was good to him?

Carelessly, Xie Qi Zhi blurted out the doubt in his heart. He heard Ying Huai's voice, echoing from above his head: "Am I not considered your brother?"

Xie Qi Zhi was stunned for a moment, looking up at his sharp, sword-like eyebrows and narrow, long eyes, that handsome, almost cold face, the appearance he had once been infatuated with in his youth, and the appearance that now easily hurt him with its indifference and slow understanding.

Ying Huai had never changed; it was he who was insatiably greedy, always wanting more.

Xie Qi Zhi felt extremely ironic, pushed him away, and asked, "Do I lack brothers? Do you need to rush to be my brother?"

He looked directly at Ying Huai, his pointed chin slightly raised, just like an arrogant kitten. His grey-blue eyes were illuminated by the soft light of the corridor, shining astonishingly bright in the dim darkness.

Even if Ying Huai were a pig, he would have understood what he said.

Sure enough, Ying Huai said nothing more, his dark eyes seemingly veiled in mist, making it impossible to discern his emotions at this moment.

Xie Qi Zhi slipped past him, again grabbing the doorknob to close the door.

Ying Huai once again held the door, saying, "Didn't you say last time that you didn't like me anymore?"

"Yes, I did say that, so what?" Xie Qi Zhi's eyes widened, angrily asking back, "Can't I like you today, not like you tomorrow, and then like you again the day after? Are you the only one allowed to be so fickle?"

Ying Huai was speechless by his unreasonable stubbornness. Xie Qi Zhi pushed his hand away from the door and, with a "thud," slammed the door shut.

On the way back, the rain grew heavier.

Raindrops fell chaotically on the windshield. Amidst the swishing sound of the wipers, he pondered what "like" Xie Qi Zhi had meant.

Was it a momentary infatuation with beauty, an indistinguishable adoration and closeness, or a synonym for love, the endless subject in literature?

What was love? Was it sex, marriage, a kiss at six in the morning, a brood of children...

Or was it bubbles enveloped by beautiful illusions, the cruelty of growing tired and indifferently turning away, the faces attacking each other in a struggle for benefits... Whatever it was, it was all a field he had never thought of stepping into.

Ying Huai returned home. The room was pitch black. Having not been back for half a month, the air was not circulating, and the house was filled with the smell of dust, a little uncomfortable to breathe in.

At this moment, he suddenly felt lucky that Xie Qi Zhi hadn't come back with him; otherwise, he would probably be coughing all evening from the dust.

He took off his outer jacket and turned on the air circulation in the house. Amidst the whistling wind, he took a bottle of water from the refrigerator to drink, but his fingertips touched not a cold bottle of water but a square box of medicine.

It was Xie Qi Zhi's probiotics.

He had left it in the refrigerator, forgotten to take it.

Ying Huai took out the medicine box, opened it, and looked. One box contained a total of two blister packs; he had only taken half of the first pack, carefully peeling off two rows of pills from left to right.

He worried that Xie Qi Zhi might have carelessly forgotten other medicines, so he went to open the cabinet where he usually kept his medicine.

Fortunately, this cabinet was empty, only his reflection filling the space.

He then went to check Xie Qi Zhi's room. Everything was as it was, exactly as it had been before Xie Qi Zhi arrived.

The wardrobe was empty, the little fox-shaped pillow on the windowsill was gone, and the small lamp on the bedside table, which was always on when he entered, was finally off this time.

He was afraid Xie Qi Zhi would get angry if he heard, so he had never told him that this room used to belong to Xiao Dao.

When he renovated the house, he only left two bedrooms, one for himself and one for the dog. But Xiao Dao, perhaps because it had once wandered outside and suffered all sorts of hardships, thereafter lacked a sense of security. It would lie quietly at the head of the bed in the first half of the night, then in the latter half, it would climb up, stealthily open his room door with its claws, and then sleep right next to his slippers.

After Ying Huai discovered this, he developed a habit of waking up in the middle of the night. Waiting for Xiao Dao to come in, he would pat the edge of the bed, letting it sleep with him.

Later, Xiao Dao fell seriously ill and passed away, but his habit of waking up in the middle of the night couldn't be broken. He would always hear clattering sounds from outside, like Xiao Dao trying to open the door with its claws but failing, and then the big dog would whimper as if acting spoiled, hoping its sleeping owner would hear and help it open the door.

He leaned against the headboard and sat for a long time, then got out of bed and opened the room door.

There was nothing outside the door. The silver moonlight streamed through the window onto the floor, like flowing water.

Later, he managed to break the habit of waking up in the middle of the night, but he developed a new habit of locking the door before sleeping.

What kind of relationship is truly eternal and unchanging?

His dog would die after more than ten years of companionship;
his father would be buried in his own depravity and greed;
his mother was across the distant ocean, and since his birth, the number of times they met could be counted on one hand.

Dating would lead to fickle hearts and breakups; marriage, bound by contracts, was even more fragile than paper.

He knew very well how to make Xie Qi Zhi happy, how to get him back by his side.

But he didn't want to do that. He didn't want to build such a fragile and superficial relationship with Xie Qi Zhi, only to one day, for any reason, watch him disappear from his life.

If he could, Ying Huai would rather be Xie Qi Zhi's brother.

On this point alone, he was very envious of Xie Zhi Lan. Because no matter what happened later, he would still be Qi Qi's brother for life; this relationship was eternally unchanging.

Ying Huai walked to the living room and sat on the sofa.

The clothes rack on the balcony was set quite low, not the height he was accustomed to. Every day when Xie Qi Zhi returned, after showering, he would wash his changed clothes and hang them there.

Sometimes the window was open, and the wind would blow, making his shirt billow and sway on the rack. The air carried a faint, familiar scent of Xie Qi Zhi's fabric softener.

Suddenly, a sound came from his ear. Ying Huai leaned back on the sofa, not bothering with the automatic clothes rack swaying without wind, and raised a hand to cover his eyes.