The Crown Prince Delivers Toilet Paper

"Wail, wail..." Little Xing, seeing this, was overjoyed, its eyes beaming with delight! Haha, Master Xing has succeeded!

The others watched Dan Thai Huang search for the latrine, wanting to laugh but not daring to.

The palace maids at the hall entrance finally reacted and hurriedly led Dan Thai Huang to the latrine.

Along the way, Dan Thai Huang's face turned purple and red; she had a strong urge to settle things right then and there! She comforted herself in her heart—and also "blessed" Jun Jinglan's ancestors for eighteen generations—to keep herself from committing the immoral act of "relieving herself on the spot"!

Once she was far away, the people in the hall were still struggling to come up with a matching couplet. "The sun shines on the incense burner, producing purple smoke; looking from afar, the latrine is over there." Although the match wasn't very refined, it flowed smoothly, and one couldn't deny that "The sun shines on the incense burner, producing purple smoke" was indeed a brilliant line! How should this poem be judged?

Huangfu Xuan coughed and said, "This poem is not yet finished. We shall wait for Princess Qing Huang to return and complete it! Lords, please continue!"

Everyone nodded and resumed composing poems.

Meanwhile, Dan Thai Ji's expression remained poor. Huang-er was currently at the latrine; last time she had touched Huangfu Xuan's bamboo paper, it was hard to guarantee that Huangfu Xuan wouldn't make things difficult for her this time! Thinking of this, he was about to stand up.

But opposite him, Jun Jinglan stood up first. "Emperor of Dong Ling, this Crown Prince begs to be excused!"

Little Xing looked up dissatisfied. "Master, where are you going? Are you betraying my deep affection for you?"

"The Crown Prince is a judge, how can he leave?" someone frowned.

Jun Jinglan smiled and said, "The Princess has gone to the latrine. As her husband, I must naturally deliver the bamboo paper myself and offer words of concern. A fair lady is hard to find; I ask for your understanding!"

His words were so solemn that no one could refute them. But Dan Thai Huang was just going to the latrine; did a Crown Prince really need to personally deliver paper and show concern to this extent?

Huangfu Xuan's face darkened. He had intended to stop the servants from giving that woman any paper, letting her experience the feeling of being in a latrine without it! Unexpectedly, Jun Jinglan had ruined his plan! He took a deep breath and said with a half-smile, "Crown Prince of Bei Ming, please!"

"My thanks for the Emperor of Dong Ling's understanding!" He cupped his hands slightly and turned to leave.

His peerless elegance made countless beauties begin to envy Dan Thai Huang again. "Even serving paper at the latrine... why doesn't the Crown Prince of Bei Ming like me? Oh..."

Although Little Xing was extremely dissatisfied, it had no choice but to hurry and catch up.

Dan Thai Ji looked at Jun Jinglan, his brow furrowing deeper! It was obvious Huang-er's problem came from eating the bananas; now he was going to deliver paper—this man was truly unpredictable! Chu Changge sat leisurely on the side, fanning himself. He felt that Jun Jinglan was very unlucky, so he decided not to join in the fun, lest he become a fish in a pond caught in the crossfire!

...

One man and one wolf walked along the path.

Halfway there, Jun Jinglan looked down and caught a glimpse of Little Xing's reluctant face. "Quite the courage you have. Very good!"

Little Xing shivered. "'Very good'? Every time Master says that, I end up unlucky. This... No way! Could the matter of the laxatives have been seen through?" It hurriedly looked up, its eyes welling with tears. "Master, I didn't do anything! I definitely didn't take advantage of the servants' absence to sneak laxatives into the bananas! I really didn't..."

Jun Jinglan glanced at it and said coldly, "Still won't admit your fault?"

*Ugh, if I admit it, can I avoid punishment?* It thought quickly and stood up, crossing its front paws, its large tail drooping as it bowed its wolf head deeply toward Jun Jinglan. "Master, I was wrong!"

In truth, it had done it for its master; the master completely misunderstood its loyal heart!

"The Tianshan Holy Fruit... the taste is not bad." Jun Jinglan walked ahead, speaking casually.

Saliva dripped, eyes glowing green. "Master Xing wants to eat..."

"You don't need to eat any this year!" With that, he quickened his pace.

Master Xing kicked its legs in indignation! It glared fiercely at Jun Jinglan—*Master, you are 'valuing lust over friends'!*

"You don't need to eat the Glazed Jade Fruit either!" The person in front spoke without looking back.

Little Xing hurriedly retracted its claws, its expression shifting from twisted to flattering.

"How hateful, I wasn't swinging my claws at all..."

Dan Thai Huang sat in the latrine, feeling completely drained! And the maids and eunuchs, for some unknown reason, hadn't brought her any paper after all this time! She sat there until she felt faint from the lack of blood to her brain. She frowned and called out, "Is anyone there!"

At that moment, no one outside answered! Dan Thai Huang's brow twitched; she realized Huangfu Xuan was trying to give her a taste of her own medicine by denying her paper. "Stingy bastard," she cursed him to have no descendants!

Just then, she heard a set of footsteps, unhurriedly approaching the latrine.

Suddenly, a voice drifted in, carrying a thin veil of amusement: "Princess, do you require bamboo paper?"

"Nonsense!" She flared up the moment she heard his voice! "This damn guy, he used laxatives and now he's 'kicking me while I'm down'!"

Hearing her voice full of gunpowder, Jun Jinglan chuckled. "Princess, within a radius of five hundred zhang, there isn't a soul! Aside from this Crown Prince, no one can save you!"

"And so?" Dan Thai Huang asked with a grim face. She knew this demon had no good intentions! But she couldn't afford to offend him right now; if she angered him, she really would be stuck in the latrine!

"And so... hmm..." He hummed softly, his tone melodic and full of seductive intent, as if he were pondering. After a long while, he offered a suggestion: "Princess, if you call this Crown Prince 'husband,' I shall give you the paper. How about it?"

"Call your sister! Get lost!" Make her call the person who gave her diarrhea "dear husband"? She'd rather take a blade to the neck!

As soon as she spoke, a burst of laughter followed; clearly, he was in a very good mood. One couldn't deny that his laughter was truly pleasant to the ear, but Dan Thai Huang currently only had the urge to throw this man into the latrine so he could laugh in there!

Just as she was fuming, an unidentified object flew in from outside. Dan Thai Huang caught it quickly and looked—it was indeed bamboo paper! Her delicate brows furrowed. *What on earth is this bastard thinking?*

Insulting him actually got her the paper? "Jun Jinglan, is there something wrong with your head? Have you seen an imperial physician yet?"

The Crown Prince's smile stiffened. He truly felt this woman was incredibly ungrateful!

"Forget it, I won't lower myself to her level." He chuckled softly and said, "I simply happen to like this temperament of yours!"

"So, if I had actually called you 'dear husband'..." Dan Thai Huang asked with a blank face.

"Then you could have stayed sitting there in peace!" *Dear husband...* Jun Jinglan didn't have such peculiar tastes!

Thus, Dan Thai Huang fell silent. Because there was simply nothing to say—if this guy didn't have a mental illness, what else could it be? And she had no idea why he wouldn't go get it treated! Holding the paper, she was about to finish up when suddenly her stomach churned again. Her face darkened as she gritted her teeth and asked, "Jun Jinglan, just how much laxative did you give me?"