Big Pig Head, I Shall Slaughter Pigs with You

Early this morning, as was the custom, the day after the state banquet was a stroll in the Imperial Garden to entertain the envoys of various nations.

However, the envoys yawned and secretly cursed Huangfu Xuan! He had sent palace maids to invite them in the middle of the night, but when they arrived, he spoke at length, yet it was all nonsense! He kept talking until they were on the verge of falling asleep before finally getting to a few main points, which turned out to be trivial matters. What "negotiating secrets"? It was a blatant lie! But since he was the Emperor and the host, they could hardly say anything!

And when the envoys of various nations met in the Imperial Garden, they began to greet one another!

"Ah! Lord Chen, 'morn-ing'! 'Morn-ing'!" one person greeted with a smile.

Seeing this, Lord Chen also smiled and cupped his hands. "Ah! Lord Zhang, 'nice-to-meet-you'! 'Nice-to-meet-you'!"

After greeting each other, they smiled and cupped their hands. But then, they suddenly froze, their expressions stiffening slightly!

What had the two of them just said?

Envoys from all over stared at them without blinking, their hearts filled with confusion. In truth, after a whole night, that pig-slaughtering song was still ringing in their heads. This morning's greetings had indeed met with an unexpected mishap! A complete mishap! It was all because they had been brainwashed by the Princess of Mabei yesterday!

Knowing they had lost face, the two lords looked utterly miserable, their smiles looking worse than crying. Lord Chen said, "Ah! This is truly a 'morn-ing' indeed!" No, where was their dignity? They had to make everyone believe they were speaking some profound foreign language that no one else understood.

"Indeed! Indeed! 'Nice-to-meet-you', 'nice-to-meet-you'!" Lord Zhang acted as if he understood perfectly, grasping Lord Chen's hand and nodding repeatedly. In his heart, tears were streaming down!

Hearing the two of them speak "foreign language" and converse so happily, the other envoys turned their heads in unison, staring blankly at the sky. They only saw what seemed like a flock of crows flying past. Sigh, they wondered if these two had been driven mad by the shock...

"The Emperor arrives!" the loud shout of a young eunuch restored silence to the crowd.

And the two who were still "morn-ing" and "nice-to-meet-you" finally found an excuse to stop speaking "foreign language." They hurriedly sat in their seats, wiping the sweat of embarrassment from their foreheads.

Huangfu Xuan's face was still as black as ink, his handsome face cold like a statue of Apollo. Fortunately, that woman had not gone around broadcasting the story of his lack of toilet paper, only claiming that he had summoned everyone to discuss secret matters, which spared him from utter humiliation! But even so, she was still unforgivable!

Reaching his seat, his golden eyes swept over everyone. "You have all waited long!"

"The Emperor of Dongling is too polite!" Though the envoys' hearts were filled with resentment over last night, they still replied with smiles.

Huangfu Xuan swept his gaze around again, noticing that Eastern Jin, Beiming, and the State of Chu had not yet arrived. And that damn woman had not arrived either! His hands clenched tightly inside his sleeves as he secretly plotted how to deal with her once she appeared!

Right at this moment, a cheerful song like a skylark echoed from afar, but the lyrics were too painful to listen to: "You are a fat pig, splish-splash ooh! I am a butcher, splish-splash ooh!..."

In truth, Dantai Huang had no other hobbies; she just liked to sing when she was in a good mood! Having thoroughly tormented that bystander Huangfu Xuan yesterday, how could she not be happy?

Everyone's eyelids twitched, and the corners of their mouths trembled. An ominous premonition arose! Gradually, a light blue figure and a fiery red figure entered their sight from afar. Seeing this, everyone's ominous premonition was confirmed. They almost wanted to hug their heads and weep. It was indeed the Third Princess of Mabei! This was a true pig-slaughtering song!

In another corner of the Imperial Garden, a man dressed in purple was also walking over. Hearing the woman's song from afar, a smile involuntarily played on his lips, and his pace quickened by a few notches.

Dantai Ji also felt an immense headache. Last night's events were already enough to trouble him, and early this morning, this girl was singing who-knows-what about fat pigs and butchers. Seeing that they were about to reach the envoys and she was still singing, he was about to stop her when they ran right into the person ahead!

Jun Jinglan cupped his hands. "Eldest Prince of Mabei, what a pleasant encounter!"

"Crown Prince of Beiming, a pleasant encounter!" Dantai Ji quickly returned the gesture.

The moment Dantai Huang saw Jun Jinglan, she instantly fell silent! Her gaze fell to her feet. He would definitely not forget what happened last night! Sure enough, she quickly felt a half-smiling, highly pressuring, and piercing gaze land upon her.

The ears of the envoys were saved, and they all looked at the peerlessly elegant Jun Jinglan with gratitude. It was said that the Imperial Crown Prince of Beiming was famous for not showing face to anyone. Therefore, Your Highness, please say a few words to strike down the Third Princess of Mabei so she will never sing again!

Everyone waited eagerly, as if sending signals to Jun Jinglan with their eyes. He stared at Dantai Huang for a long moment, his voice carrying a hint of a smile. "The Princess of Mabei's singing is truly unique!"

The envoys sighed in unison, and Huangfu Xuan felt the same. In truth, he never wanted to hear this woman's singing a third time in his life!

"Naturally, this princess's singing is one of a kind in the world!" Dantai Huang acted as if she didn't hear the sarcasm in his words. She raised her head and puffed out her chest, speaking with immense pride, her eyes looking at Jun Jinglan with provocation!

This provocation deepened the smile on Jun Jinglan's lips. He spoke again, "Such singing is indeed one of a kind. This Crown Prince also hopes to frequently hear such sounds of nature from the Princess!"

With that, he cupped his hands to Dantai Ji again, turned, and walked toward his seat.

The envoys' expressions froze. Was there something wrong with this Imperial Crown Prince of Beiming? Could it be that no matter what the Third Princess of Mabei did, he could abandon his conscience to praise her? How could such a horrifying song be called the "sounds of nature"?!

Not to mention the envoys, even Dantai Ji was stunned. He had been feeling quite embarrassed, but hearing him say this, he even forgot to return the gesture! Huangfu Xuan, on the other hand, looked at Jun Jinglan with an extremely bizarre gaze.

Dantai Huang felt nothing. After all, she was already used to this demon's unconventional behavior. She could never guess what he was thinking anyway, so why waste effort trying? Thus, she followed Dantai Ji, continuing to hum in a moderate volume, "You are a fat pig, splish-splash ooh, I am a butcher..."

As she sang, she raised her head and met Huangfu Xuan's ice-cold gaze. Without hesitation, she rolled her eyes at him and gave a wicked smile! Didn't he die in the latrine last night? Hahaha... In such a good mood, she had to sing even louder!

Her reaction caused Huangfu Xuan's hand under his imperial robe to clench even tighter!

And just as Dantai Huang was happily singing...

"Lord Zhao, what is wrong with you?" a minister stood up, asking the person in front of him with concern.

Lord Zhao was currently holding his head, two streams of tears flowing down his cheeks. He glanced at Dantai Huang, truly unable to say that he couldn't stand her singing. Thus, he opened his mouth, "Lord Chen, this official is fine. This official just suddenly missed his mother!"

Hearing this, with his ears filled with "fat pig" and "butcher," a warm tear also threatened to spill from Lord Chen's eyes. "Lord Zhao, hearing you say this, this official also suddenly missed his father!"

"Cough... cough, cough..." Huangfu Xuan coughed a few times to prevent more people from joining the ranks of "remembering their relatives."

Right at this moment, the young eunuch announced loudly, "The Eldest Prince and Eldest Princess of Eastern Jin have arrived!"

The moment these words fell, Dantai Huang's song abruptly stopped, replaced by a cold sneer. Her phoenix eyes narrowed as she looked toward the entrance. Was yesterday's lesson not enough?

Lord Zhao and Lord Chen no longer wanted to miss their parents, and Huangfu Xuan stopped glaring at Dantai Huang. Everyone turned their heads to look at the figures walking in from the peach blossom forest. The Eldest Princess of Eastern Jin had been beaten into such a state last night; did she still dare to attend the banquet today?

They truly came with ill intent!

At this moment, Dantai Ji swirled the wine cup in his hand, a murderous intent rippling in his eyes as he smiled with elegant charm...