Dazai's Dark Cuisine

A large pot was carried over by hands wrapped in bandages and heavily placed on the table.

"The final dish, Health-Boosting Stewed Chicken," Dazai Osamu said with a smile. "This is my masterpiece. Well, doesn't it look delicious?"

Steam rose from the pot, and the fresh aroma of stewed chicken filled the room. The broth was a clear, pale yellow, and the skillfully prepared chicken was submerged in it. Dazai Osamu used a spoon to gently nudge the side; the tenderly stewed meat immediately separated, soaking up the broth before sliding into the spoon.

But before this seemingly appetizing pot of chicken soup, the people sitting around the table had different expressions; not a single one dared to move their chopsticks.

Particularly Nakahara Chuuya, whose face was pale as he glared at the pot of chicken soup as if facing a mortal enemy.

But this couldn't be blamed on him. Amidst a table full of dishes with bizarre shapes, this solitary dish that looked edible instead brought about a spine-chilling sensation.

"The food is all served, why isn't anyone eating?" Dazai Osamu looked toward Li Nai. "Store Manager?"

"That's right, everyone try it," Li Nai said with a beaming smile. "Dazai worked so hard; we can't let his kindness go to waste."

The other two looked at each other for a moment. Finally, Oda Sakunosuke was the first to act. He calmly reached out his chopsticks to pick up the mixed tofu in front of him—but he couldn't pick it up.

He paused for a moment, tapping the edge of the tofu with his chopsticks. The tip of the chopsticks hitting the tofu produced a crisp sound like stone hitting metal.

"...What is this? A rock? Or a brick?" Chuuya’s expression was extremely grim. "You're calling this food?"

"This is the upgraded version of Super Hard Tofu after my extensive research! Li Nai’s kitchen has everything; it's a huge help~" Dazai Osamu looked excitedly at Oda. "How is it, Oda? I researched this for a long time!"

"Sounds very interesting," Oda said.

"Interesting my foot!" Chuuya slammed his chopsticks on the table, shouting angrily, "Eating this will definitely kill someone!"

Meanwhile, Oda used force to break off a corner of the tofu and put it in his mouth.

*Crunch, crunch, crunch—*

Under Chuuya’s horrified gaze, Oda’s cheeks puffed out, making a chewing sound that made one's teeth ache.

"Is it sweet?" Oda was startled for a moment.

"Exactly, exactly!" Dazai Osamu’s eyes lit up, boasting proudly like a child who had achieved his wish. "I added hard candy into the filling! How about that, impressive right!"

"It is indeed a very creative idea," Oda nodded, his throat moving as he swallowed. The next second, his eyes suddenly went dull, his body swayed, and with a *thud*, he collapsed onto the table.

Chuuya jumped in shock, hurriedly shaking him: "Oda! Hey! You didn't actually die, did you!"

"Don't worry, he just fell asleep," Dazai Osamu said lightly. "Oda has been so tired lately, so I added a bit of sleeping pills I found in the kitchen."

"...Li Nai!" Chuuya turned around in a rage. "Why do you have that kind of stuff in your kitchen!"

"It's normal to have sleeping pills in a kitchen," Li Nai said slowly. "Aren't those also meant to be consumed?"

Chuuya: "..."

"Alright, it's your turn, Chuuya." Dazai Osamu flashed a sinister smile. "This is the Store Manager's request~"

Chuuya struggled internally, glanced at Li Nai, and saw Li Nai giving him a radiant smile.

"..." Chuuya closed his eyes in despair, his hand trembling as he reached out. He bypassed the rock-hard tofu, bypassed the bizarrely colored steamed mushrooms, bypassed the plate of fish meat of unknown origin that was bubbling... and finally picked up the spoon in the chicken soup pot.

The clear broth was ladled into a bowl. With a heavy expression, Chuuya took a spoonful and put it in his mouth.

"Oh? Actually, the taste is quite... wait, hold on..."

Before Chuuya could finish his sentence, his pupils began to lose focus.

*Thud!*

Nakahara Chuuya fell face-first onto the table, completely losing consciousness.

Dazai Osamu smiled proudly at his successful prank. Next, his eyes shifted toward Li Nai, and a bold thought suddenly occurred to him.

"Store Manager." Dazai Osamu’s tone was full of respect. "Since you said everyone should try it... then this 'everyone' surely includes you as well, to be fair?"

Li Nai raised an eyebrow.

"Of course, after all, I am a shopkeeper who follows the rules," Li Nai said with a smile, reaching out to scoop a spoonful of chicken soup—and immediately poured it straight into Dazai Osamu’s bowl.

Dazai Osamu froze.

"But this 'everyone' naturally includes you too, Dazai," Li Nai said smilingly. "Letting one's employee go hungry is not the behavior of a good boss; people will criticize me."

"...There aren't even any other people here."

Although Dazai Osamu muttered a curse under his breath, he still picked up the spoon. He lowered his eyes, hiding the flash of smugness at the bottom of his gaze.

"Li Nai, you've miscalculated this time. How could I be defeated by a dish I made myself? Having tested it so many times, I've long since built up a resistance; it's absolutely impossible for me to lose consciousness. This time, it's finally my turn to prank you, Li Nai!"

Dazai Osamu took a large, refreshing gulp.

But very quickly, he noticed something was wrong. The sensation as he swallowed was incredibly cold and slippery, sliding down his esophagus at a speed he couldn't react to... like a living creature clinging to his throat and then burrowing inside.

Everything before Dazai Osamu’s eyes began to twist and blur. In his delirium, he looked into his bowl, hallucinating that the foreign object at the bottom was struggling and growing flesh.

Before sinking completely into darkness, the last image in Dazai Osamu’s mind was Li Nai ladling soup into his bowl.

"Oh." Li Nai blinked. "I forgot, my hand slipped a bit... You'll forgive me, right?"

The response was a loud noise.

*Thud!*

Dazai Osamu collapsed onto the table, his mouth occasionally letting out pained moans as if having a nightmare.

Of the four at the table, three were now down. Li Nai sat calmly among the unconscious group, leisurely taking a spoonful of chicken soup to taste.

"Passable," Li Nai remarked. "A bit bland."

/

Time passed quietly, and it was nearly dawn.

Dazai Osamu stirred slightly, a weak gasp escaping his lips. He slowly opened his eyes, his pupils blurry and unable to focus, his gaze dull.

"I think I... walked down many steps... the moon was right beside me..." Dazai Osamu held his head, saying blankly, "There was a toad with tentacles on its mouth... and a large bird with a scaly body and a horse's head..."

Nakahara Chuuya lay limply beside him, lacking even the strength to mock Dazai.

Oda Sakunosuke had returned to his normal state; he was the first of the three to wake up. By now, he had finished cleaning up the battlefield. He sighed softly and shifted his gaze to Li Nai, who was humming a tune while checking the shelves.

"Store Manager." Oda paused, choosing a safe topic to ask. "...I thought they would wake up later? Especially Dazai."

Hearing Oda call his name, Dazai Osamu’s pupils slowly regained focus. But clearly, the mental aftershocks were too great, and his expression still held traces of shock and fear.

"About that, it was supposed to be like that." Li Nai’s finger touched the gray mist, saying nonchalantly, "But it's almost morning. If they stayed unconscious and couldn't work, wouldn't that be very boring?"

Oda: ...So the timing of their awakening is entirely decided by the Store Manager's will.

As they talked, dawn arrived.

The sunlight gradually brightened, and the first ray of the new day pierced through the window, shining on them.

A sudden ache pulled Dazai Osamu out of his daze. His body, stiff after a night of no movement, fell to the floor like a wooden puppet. In his blurry vision, the last thing he saw was Chuuya’s mocking gaze.

After a while, the shop fell into silence. Then came a small sound; Cat Oda jumped onto the bar counter, habitually lying down next to Li Nai’s hand.

Two unfamiliar cats suddenly appeared on the floor.

One was orange all over, with only four black paws and clear blue eyes. The other was pitch black from head to toe; if thrown into the darkness, it would surely vanish instantly, only visible when it opened its hawk-like eyes that shimmered in the night.

After gaining control of its body, the orange cat immediately approached the black cat, seemingly wanting to get a good look at the look of collapse in those hawk-like eyes.

But unexpectedly, the black cat was very calm. It studied its new body, even curiously reaching out a paw to bat at its own swishing tail.

Now, the one who wasn't calm was Cat Chuuya.

Nakahara Chuuya stared in shock at Dazai Osamu: *How can you be so calm?! You've turned into a cat!*

Cat Dazai threw back a look of contempt: *Do you think I'm you, Chuuya? If I hadn't predicted this, why would I have stayed?*

Nakahara Chuuya couldn't figure it out. Memories of last night flashed through his mind—then, he discovered a key piece of information. It seemed he had accidentally revealed this to Dazai? After all, he had transformed right in front of Dazai from a human into... into a dog.

Cat Dazai flashed a malicious smile. That smile appearing on a cat's face looked even more taunting.

Cat Dazai: *Figured it out?*

Cat Chuuya: *...*

After a few meows, the orange and black cats lunged at each other, becoming a ball of two-colored fur rolling everywhere. One could see the two cats were fighting very seriously and fiercely... which made them look all the more adorable.

The little bat flew out again. Li Nai looked at the system screen opening before him, a joyful smile appearing on his lips.